I'm feeling a bit of dismay and resentment towards myself. I feel like where I'm at in life, in mind, in body, and in soul is not where I'm supposed to be. The tradition of going out to parties every Friday night is fun, but I'm worried that it's all that I'm going to become. My hobbies are too lame that I don't even need to socialize to fulfill my daily fix of them. Maybe I should start skating? Graffiti-ing? Fuck, even photographing. So I can have something I'm passionate about define me. I've played guitar with my best friend a few times, and that's fun. But shouldn't I be getting off my ass to go do it?
The match that started this fire of uncertainty was looking at my dad and mom's pictures from when they were young.
My beautiful mother was born in Zurich, Switzerland on September 15th 1962. Her mother worked at a book store, while her father was a french professor at a University. (They married at 21 and had her after the death of their first child at 24).
Her childhood, or what I know of it, was a sea of traveling, moving, and shaking things.
At age two her brother was born and her family moved to Nice, France.
At age four she got meningitis and forgot how to speak.
Her parents sent her to a youth communist camp.
By age 8 she had moved back to Nice, France to be homeschooled for two years.
At age 13 she hung out with the clash backstage with her friend.
She also ran away to Paris around this time.
At 16 she became a model, and faced the cover of many European magazines.
She also dated German pop star Udo Lindenberg, which is when he wrote a song for her.
"Wenn du mich so ansiehst
fällt mir nichts mehr ein
wenn du willst, dann nimm mich
es kann für immer sein
ich geb' dir alles, was ich bin
das ist mein Versprechen
jeder Tag ohne dich ein Verbrechen
Ich liebe hohe Spannung
und stehe meistens unter Strom
Und die Hochzeit feiern wir
in Panik-Manier im Petersdom
und meinetwegen 13 Kinder
alle total verrückt
oh, Babe, Babe, nimm mich in deine Arme
oh, Kleine, ich bin absolut verzückt
Nur zu dir fallen mir solche schönen Träume ein
ich will jede Sekunde nur noch mit dir zusammen sein
bis ans Ende der Welt, wenn es das gibt
halt mich fest, mir wird schwindlig
ich bin so sehr verliebt"
By 19 she had mainly quit modeling because they suggested she get a nose job.
Then my beautiful mama moved to NYC where she became a DJ.
She originally moved from Zurich with her boyfriend, who is now her best friend.
A waitress,partygirl,artist all combined into one.
She experiences Sid and Nancy for a bit, in the early 1980's and then meets my dad.
They get married circa 1989 and I arrive in 1992.
They split a few years later.
She becomes straight-edge and travels to Cuba five or six times.
Santeria.
Falls in love with reggae music.
A love story.
My father was born in 1956 in St. Luis Park, Minnesota. His parents lived a good Lutheran life. He has two younger sisters. His mother's name was Val and his father's name was Egil. Egil lived in Norway during WWII while the Germans occupied it. He tells me stories all the time about how his friends used to put saw dust and spit into the Nazi's food. Val dies circa 1990 before I'm born. Val was Danish. Egil is Norwegian.
At age one my dad was a smiley little Scandinavian boy.
Growing up he was a normy middle-american kid. Blue jean, tighty white-ee, baseball playing, beatles fan.
In junior high he got beat by his gym teacher with a paddle that had the playboy bunny symbol etched into it.
He then began to grow his hair, and apparently he also got fat...
Blues music, a revolution, happiness spilling over from the 60's shaped his way into punk music.
Before the Ramones, my dad was in the first Punk band, The Suicide Commandos. (The Strokes stole their logo)
He moved with his band to NY in 1979.
5th st. and 1st ave. His first apartment.
He then went on to play with the Ramones, Richard Hell, Blondie, etc. at CBGBs
When he stopped being punk he turned into Beat Rodeo. A country rock blues feel.
MTV
Sick of the buisness when he meets my mom.
They get married for my mom's citizenship.
Have me.
He continues to make music but goes to college and also becomes a teacher.
And now we're here to the present.
I don't have an epic story like this.
I need to find something to motivate me to runaway to london and paris and play with the Ramones or something.
Help.
I'm happy though ! I just gotta do more shit.
